The very core of your writing whilst sounding agreeable at first, did not really work well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer unfortunately just for a while. I still have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and you would do nicely to help fill in all those breaks. In the event you actually can accomplish that, I will surely be impressed.
The very core of your writing whilst sounding agreeable at first, did not really work well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer unfortunately just for a while. I still have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and you would do nicely to help fill in all those breaks. In the event you actually can accomplish that, I will surely be impressed.